Monday, July 11, 2011

Ugh...freaking confused!

Day 27:

     Kind of a difficult day emotionally. After interacting with my husband today I feel pretty confused about things. Confused about my emotions. Confused about what's happening. Confused about my feelings. Confused about our connection? Just plain confused....and it's really confusing that I can still read him and respond accordingly. I'm not sure that I thought all of this would be different so quickly, but I didn't expect to be SO CONFUSED.
     So what do I do now? No idea...absolutely no idea...and here I was thinking I took myself out of limbo. But after this morning I realize I never really left limbo-land. Am I wrong? Am I right? I feel sad then happy. I'm so hurt and angry yet I still love him. Blah! I'm also frustrated that I feel as though I still have to protect him and others from how I'm feeling....worried if it's okay to even express something I guess I don't really get myself. 
      I know everything takes time and the process isn't always with that said I'm taking my confused self to bed early.

My Survival Plan

Read my Bible - 1 Chronicles 11:1-12:18, Acts 28:1-31, Psalm 9:1-12, Proverbs 19:1-3

Psalms 19:3, "People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD."

Worship - yes but going to do more. One of the best new worship songs "Your Great Name," sung by Natalie's a MUST.

Work out - sort

Do something for someone else - agreed to pet sit

Do something special for myself - took the day off

Cook - made a yummie salad

Emotional state: confused

High point: found the song "Your Great Name."

Low point: it's raining....again

Tip of the day: when you drop your cell in the bathtub stick it in a bowl of rice for 24 hours. (I have a LOT of experience with this tip).

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