Today I had a special treat. I went to visit my former church in T-Town. For some reason, I was extremely nervous to visit, but as soon as worship started I felt as though I was home. There's just something about the place...even more so, the pastor, Pastor Bill, is one of the most genuine, sincere and raw people you might ever have the privilege of hearing...and no matter where you seat or who you know....you leave feeling as though he knows you, he gets you...he understands. With all the said...of course the message would be applicable to me....and of course it was difficult to hear and it was hard to apply. (He's extremely in your face and honest...while being compassionate and understanding).
One of the inspiring questions he asked was, "What if instead of solving world hunger, disease and poverty, we eradicated Pride? What would change then? If pride no longer had a place in the world....what would be different?" Ummmmm....basically everything!!!!!!
Just about everything in our society (American for sure) would be rocked to the core. How often do we make decisions based on pride....or what serves our purposes. Think about it....many times we even volunteer because it makes us feel better....it softens our conscious. What if pride was no longer apart of us...what would be different? I think that kind of world would blow my mind!!!!
This was a hard message for me to hear...because...applying to myself...how was I prideful in my single life, married life and now divorced life? How did I interject to much of myself verses living out what God has called me to. Pastor Bill said that our faith requires that we crucify the flesh everyday...we're called to die and live for Christ? So how did I not crucify...how did I not die? On the other side, he was quick to emphasis that with Christ we can do all things...and that does not mean "we live with addictions, guilt, shame, disappointments in our own life...He who is free is free indeed." God came to free the captive...in no way does that mean we live in the shadow of our weaknesses for the rest of our life....we might be tempted by the familiar (because the enemy does not have a better plan), but we are no longer in the shadows of our past....we are in the light.
NOW THAT WILL PREACH!!!! lol Take this for what it is...but I'm taking it as a gift...a hall pass to learn, develop and grow, but I do not need to wallow in shame and murk. My life will not be a shadow of my past...my life will be light, freedom and strength.
And in the words of Pastor Bill (that I remember from almost 10 years ago)..."It's my bat and my ball...we play until I say it's time to go home." Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read my Bible - 2 Kings 20:1-22:2, Acts 21:18-36, Psalm 150:1-6, Proverbs 18:9-10
Proverbs 18:9, "A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things."
Worship - YES...and it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE Guts!
Work out - church hop
Do something for someone else - spent time trying to help my new friend with a situation
Do something special for myself - watched movies
Cook - had yummy grilled hamburgers today with new friends
Emotional state: introspective
High point: church
Low point: had to spray my expensive perfume to cover up the stink in the room.....my bad! oops