Peter, Paul and Mary...I am reminded of their faith even when faced with the impossible. However, today, I am in awe of their ability to face all the fear in the world and step out because of their faith in God. Peter stepped out of a freaking boat into the ocean...trusting that Jesus would be there. Mary had to confess a scandalous pregnancy to her husband...trusting what the Angel told her. And Paul...well where to start with this man. He lived and died literally by the word of God, trusting wholly in the LORD. He shook off a venomous snake, survived a shipwreck, walked right out of prison, etc, etc, etc. And really...these are all amazing, inspiring stories...until YOU (in this case me) are called to this kind of faith.
Believing in the face of fear. Trusting despite circumstance. Walking through the impossible. Ugh, these are all truths that frankly frustrate the crap out of me. Not because they aren't encouraging and what I want to do...but because this is what I need to do without any guarantee. Without any promise of...well....the promise. How in the world do I do that? How do I pray? What do I believe? When others let go and their fear encourage doubt...how do you let go and move on from that disappointment? so many questions.
But then I guess it's like the saying....when it's all you can do to stand, stand still.
So I know God can do the impossible, but do I really believe it? I guess this kind of surprises me. I thought I did...I thought I really believe in God and His word....but then I guess my belief has never been tested at this level. But I know my God...and even if I can't believe for myself...I can believe in Him!
My Survival Plan
Read my Bible - 1 Chronicles 12:19-14:17, Romans 1:1-17, Psalm 9:13-20, Proverbs 19:4-5
Psalms 9:13, "Save me so i can praise you publicly at Jerusalem's gates, so I can rejoice that you have rescued me."
Worship - yes
Work out - 45 minutes
Do something for someone else - I guess I didn't, outside of work, yikes....thinking, thinking...
Do something special for myself - bought new running shoes...training for a 5k
Cook - salad...kind of boring
Emotional state: confused
High point: watched my teeny tiny puppy chase my gigantic cat around the apartment
Low point: watched one of my clients heart breaking today. Ugh...it was so hard. I just wanted to get up and fight for him.
Tip of the day: Apple Cider Vinegar is great for cleaning out your system. lol 1 TBSP a day