Sunday, June 10, 2012

How many piles of rocks have you moved today?

This might be a difficult one for me to blog about...not because it's crazy complicated or anything. It's difficult because, in concept it's so simple (or should be), yet the action, carrying it out challenges almost all sense of logic, comfort and...well let's be I'm not saying Faith is a threat to personal safety as in "Yah! We have faith now let's play Russian roulette. OR how about cliff diving without a parachute." (This is where...if you know me and can picture this...I would roll my eyes, give you the look and walk away if I was "challenged" with these examples as arguments....YET if you knew me better I might remark...nope...He just wants you to get out of the boat and walk on water. Shouldn't be a problem right?) :) But seriously, I mean it more in the sense of our comfort levels.

What usually dictates our move from A to B? What normally helps us pick between this belief or that one? What commonly aids our decisions in staying or going, settling or expanding, stopping or moving it faith? or is it fear? If we really got honest with ourselves how many of us would admit that we have made decisions stating we felt "peace" but in the end it just felt like the safest option? The most innocuous and (let's just say it) inexpensive move. Harmless, innocent, benign....all great words in appropriate context...but has God called us to a benign, harmless, inexpensive, safe faith? NO!

He has called us into a faith that is reverent, Yes, but also into a faith that is radical. A faith that is not all logical and safe. One thing my brother said in service today that shook me, was when he reference the Law of Creation as God's faith in action. God spoke, "Let there be Light and there was light...Let the water be separated from the Land..." In any of that did God doubt that what he spoke forth would be created? Absolutely not...and similarly Jesus told us, in Mark 11:23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him," Jesus said, "I only do those things I see the Father doing." Aren't we suppose be doing what Christ that what Christianity is all about...becoming a Christ follower???? So if God spoke without doubt in His heart...and Jesus spoke without doubt in His heart...then we are to....

What if our lack of faith is fear dictated by our own doubt. Doubt in our ability to hear God clearly because our fear is it might not be the "right" voice. Doubt in our capabilities, strength, brain power, finances, relationships because our fear is they are not good enough. Doubt in His willingness to come through and provide because our fear is He doesn't want to or needs to teach us a lesson (spanking intended). Doubts about His actual feelings towards us because our fear is we are unlovable or unacceptable. I love it in Mark 9:23 & 24 when a father that has sought out Jesus to heal his son but slips and tells Jesus (sort of indirectly) that he's not sure if Jesus can. Jesus responds, " If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." And I love the father's statement in v. 24, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."  Jesus heals the little boy despite the fathers seed of doubt...and i would you think the father speaking it out...acknowledging his fear..his unbelief might have prompted Jesus to heal the little boy and moreover heal the father's seed of doubt?

I hear so much of myself in the father's response. I would be like..."no Jesus really, I came all this way, OBVIOUSLY I know you can!. I know you are capable. You're the Creator, the Messiah, the Savior, I have no doubt you can." Then it would hit me. He's right...there's this tiny fear. This little seed of doubt that is saying...I don't know if He will. I don't know if He wants to! Then I would say (hopefully)...Lord please help my unbelief!

I, many times, doubt God's willingness to work in my life, to speak and say the impossible and then my ability to walk it out...because I doubt Him..i doubt that he wants to...and then I doubt myself. I doubt that i'm worthy of love or being loved. I doubt I am "saved enough," living correctly, forgiven. And many of us can sit here and read these words and think..."Oh Brooke of course you are. Poor, poor, poor girl...she just doesn't get it." But then when we examine our own belief...our own level of faith???? 

Christ said it would only take the faith of a mustard seed to move the mountains. And I truly believe with everything in me...those mountains can be struggles, interpersonal, spiritual...even NATURAL...but I would many mountains have you moved today???? Have you even moved a rock?