Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Safe People

Day Fourteen:

      There's a book called "Safe People" by Drs. Cloud and Townsend that I have many of my teens read, especially if they are dealing with boundary issues or a lack of awareness about what makes someone a safe friend. It's amazing how quickly we can turn our eyes from the red flags of unsafe people yet blink surprisingly when they end up hurting us. With that said....
     I recently assigned "Safe People" to one of my teens. Through a lot of exploration we discovered that she does not feel as though she can say no to anyone especially guys. This has been a hard and painful process for her, but through all the pain she has blossomed in a way I can not even describe. She surprised me with her insights on the assigned reading due today. It was actually one of those moments where I felt as though the tables were turned...I was the student and she was the teacher.
     The parable of the tax collector and the pharisee, used by Cloud and Townsend, as an example of someone willing to be submitted to rebuke, challenge and change, caught her attention. She said, "It's amazing how one person, the religious guy, only wanted to point out how he didn't mess up, but the tax guy totally said how he messed up and was rewarded by God for that." In her opinion it felt safer to pretend to be perfect, but never quite felt right when she hid behind the mask of perfection. Yet latelyn as she has become more and more vulnerable about her weaknesses, and felt unbelievably scared of others opinions of her, yet, in her words, "I feel more free to be me. I feel more like myself again."
      Being real, being vulnerable allows us to be free. I do understand the complexity of that reality, but in the end, it's the mask of perfection that hides the most secrets. Unveiling what is hidden, while scary, allows our shame and disgrace to air out...to lose it's power over our emotions and thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I realize it's important to understand who is safe and who is unsafe (thus the book "Safe People" as an assignment), but truly there's nothing like the freedom to be oneself especially when dealing with heartache and disappointment.

Read my Bible - 2 Kings 13:1-14:29, Acts 18:23-19:12, Psalm 146:1-10, Proverbs 18:2-3

Psalm 146:2, "I will praise the LORD as long as I live. I will sing praise to my GOD with my dying breath."

Worship - not yet

Work out - 40 minutes

Do something for someone else - encouraged one of my teens to look outside of the negative statements others have spoken over him. "Decide who you will be." I'm not sure I've ever seen someone smile so big leaving my office. Tearful face. OH, and got my brother an amazing bday present. SUPER excited

Do something special for myself - nothing as of yet.

Cook - nope, unless Lean Cuisine counts.

Emotional state: peaceful

High point: feeling as though I truly helped someone today

Low point: came home to a dead plant.

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