Monday, October 17, 2011

The F-ers

Lately, the only things keeping my head above water are my family, friends and...well a little bit of fun! I know that one day I will be eternally grateful for this season, and I can even see the silver lining sometimes (understanding loneliness and vulnerability)...but right now it's just refreshing to have the support and love of my closest relationships....and with them I can blow off some steam. My family has kept me sane (especially ...the loves of my life, my nephews), my friends have kept me afloat and moving forward, and that little bit of fun?...well that has been a life saver. Fun has reminded me of my personality and what helps me breath. Even if it's running in a football field with my nephews as they squeal when Sapulpa (my puppy) chases them. Or like tonight....talking with a friend over wine and sliders.

So, tonight when I met up with my old friend...you know what I realized...that I'm thankful for connection. I'm thankful for brutal honesty and forgiveness...and I'm thankful for not being judged but understood in this season. I found that I couldn't really explain some of the ways I felt, and instead of giving advice I was met with kindness and acceptance. Obviously we all have dark places and blind spots, but to feel and really know that you are forgiven, adored, and wanted...it's deeply healing....especially when those voices point back to Christ. To be allowed to express failure and unloveliness, and be met with experience and authenticity..it's life-giving, it's breath.

Family, friends and fun! Maybe that's the recipe for a heart break to transform into healing. Well then, cheers....here's to the F-ers.

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