**** I wrote this beautiful, grammatically correct blog and it wasn't saved....so bare with this one...
My brother gave a convicting and compelling sermon today at Legacy Chapel. It was focused on Jacob in Genesis 32. After working years for Labin to obtain his ultimate love Rachel, Jacob (a successful business man) flees his father-in-law estate thinking that he (FIN) would attempt to take everything from Jacob. Then Jacob sends his family away, and while left alone he wrestles with an angel until dawn. (I hate fighting...can you imagining fighting for some-teen hours? ugh)
And as Brant pointed out today...the crazy thing is...during all that time...Jacob deceiving his brother AND dad, then working for his FIN for BOTH daughters and ultimately fleeing into the wilderness...he (Jacob) never ONCE asked God about his decisions. He didn't ask...should I trick my brother into giving me the ownership of the God promise over my family? Should I work 14 years for a beautiful woman that makes me weep? Should I be afraid of the man that I made millions for? Should I divide my family and send them away so I can "at least have one set?"
He never asked God! Then he's alone, and begins to wrestle with God. After a night of wrestling....the angel figures out he (Jacob) isn't going to give up. How many of us....in our pride and selfishness just don't want to give up. We just don't want to surrender, but God knows our heart. So, the angel touches his hip and Jacob becomes limp. In his place of strength....God touched him...marked him and reminded him (Jacob) that he was NOT God. Jacob finally surrendered....God asked him, "What is your name?"
Jacob answered with his name. Jacob, which means, "held at the heel. Supplanter." And then God said...."you are no longer known as Jacob, you are Israel." God took a determined, disobedient, self-made man and turned him into the father of HIS people, HIS chosen nation.
It's convicting because how many times have I made my own decisions. How many life decisions have I not included God on? AND then....I'm compelled to think..how much easier my life might have been if I had surrendered and just asked God. Just asked! But I guess I'm afraid of what God might say "NO" to? What I think He might not want for me? I guess...because why would I not ask? Then I think...why would Jacob not ask? He was raised in a pre-destined family. His mother knew he was called to great things. His father was a man of destiny...chosen! How did he go about his life and not ask?
But who doesn't have hidden places? Who doesn't wonder if they have been misunderstood? I was convicted today that I have many hidden places...places I hold tightly to...and don't ask God what He thinks. And honestly you might read that..and think....how could you....but really...we all have dark places...we all shelter blind spots...whether that's the way we spend our money, deal with our relationships, entertain excitement, or handle life. Have you asked God into your business decisions? Have you asked God what he wants in your intimate relationships? Have you asked Him what he wants you to replace your habit with now? What if the lifestyle you have been living, isn't the one He wants for you?
Then after that (I know..... how can I go anywhere after that?)...I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with the Legacy team and had an amazing time watching Tebow come back from a crazy start. And while it might be reading into things....is it really to far fetch to compare the situation? Tebow...I'm sure nervous..full of adrenaline and excitement for his first start..makes crazy stupid mistakes...then he settles in. Prays, kneels, makes it obvious he knows it's not just his talent or abilities...and next thing you know...he throws these passes that are on fire and maybe shouldn't be obvious. (and I'm in love)
What if our brokenness means change? What if surrender means transformation? What if God's plan isn't easy but it's the destiny of fulfillment?
cheers...to the Bible and broncos! Oh, and I love Tebow?!?!?!?