So my uncle says...

My Uncle and I have been reading this incredible book. It's an out of the box, not easily read (if lazy) type of read. From this book (and ultimate challenge from the message of the book) my Uncle has started to challenge me to write a book about my experiences, about those I am passionate about. He thinks there are things i can communicate and give out of my experience and (definitely) with the age range I work with. But here's the dilemma....what would I say? What in the world would I say?

The Way of Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman (the book we're reading) is one of the most extraordinary works of fiction/non-fiction?)...that not only challenges our intellect but our pursues of passions and interest. It will tweak your brain in a way that is unexplainable and beyond words.

In recent days I have felt this weird understanding that I'm called to something bigger then myself. It's not a expectation or even a want...it's an internal passion that has ultimately drawn out the deepest parts of me (hope that doesn't sound weird). It's not beyond my current teens or counseling...but what I mean is....a couple of my girls (from the past) have sought me out..and through those conversations...i have wondered....WHY ME? Of course that thought doesn't happen to much...but I do think after....why do they trust me? Why am I accessible to them? Why I am seen as worthy of wisdom and confrontation? What can I say that helps them move to the next step?

What would I say? What would the advice, the wisdom (lol?) be?

Here's what the question had done for me. It's help me isolate what I am passionate about. What I am wanting for the young people of this era. The young women (and men) i see sitting in front of me everyday.

If I could say anything to them...it would be STOP IT! STOP all this foolishness...all this fanatical belief in lives that aren't real or worthy. Stop selling yourselves short of ultimate fulfilment! STOP doubting your importance. The part you that might deliver you children out of slavery.. STOP doubting the essence of God in YOU! The BOLDNESS in you. Stop thinking 10lbs is the breaking point of kind of weird attractiveness (scale) decision...what the hell does 10lbs have to do with anyting. Stop thinking the voice of reasoning is just some weird conscious tweak.

Then after all that....I think...where am I ...I know I'm in place of calling the young people in this generation to rise up..but I know there must be more. there MUST be the young and old, the female and male, that require our young people to live to a different standard....

here's what I know beyond doubt...i have PLENTY of young people...that are disrespectful, spout off, and do things "there way"...yet...u know what's interesting...they are committed to my office, they are committed to my boundaries and consequences. I have one young one that fights everyone else in her life...but still continues to schedule a time a with me. AND I have those that say...I just want my parents to be my parents. What does that say?

I would also say...The love of imperfection is the clue to freedom. we are all imperfect and the sooner we realize and accept that the better. And I think for those of us that can identify loss, imperfection, distraction, and grief....and own not only how those things changed us but moved AND deepen us forever...that we have responsibility that is beyond what is contractual...we're beyond requirement of replication....God has called us to change and encourage TRANSFORMATION! What does that all mean?

And then there was FOCUS

Day 40

"Only love heals. Anger, guilt, and fear can only destroy and separate you from your true self." - Ever: Immortals, by Alyson Noel.

    Today, I was in a sort of "zen" place...a place of contentment and peace. I'm not sure what lead to it other than honestly I'm just so tired of feeling like an emotional hostage in my life. I have moments of feeling alone, down and rejected....but I am tired of waddling in those feelings. Today I just focused inward (not to sounds so Oprah). Enjoying the day, enjoying things...a little to much sun and little to much spending...but it was fun and I will go to bed feeling happy.
    It's hard to let go and it's even harder to accept the reality of where life is at for me right now....in some ways I think it's even harder to just stall and idle in the negative emotions...almost punishing myself for being here. I realize moving on involves dealing with the complex state of the soul (especially when grieving) but I noticed...when I allow myself to feel all the crap it's almost easier to move on and focus on better things (even when some of the crap happens regularly, and at the hand of people who "should" know better).
     So what is this blog all about....well....I think "focus." And believe me I know that I have talked about this before, but really where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. Or in different terms....we move towards what we focus on. And today, I wanted to focus on what makes life good..whether that's with someone or without them. That actually reminds me of the scene in "Eat, Pray, Love," where Liz Gilbert is venting to her friend, realizing "I haven't given myself a second to be with myself." And not to sound like selfishness on steroids...but liking/loving myself seems a lot more important these days...since I'll be with myself more often now. lol

My Survival Plan


Read my Bible - 2 Chronicles 11:1-13:22, Romans 8:26-39, Psalm 18:37-50, Proverbs 19:27-295


Romans 8:26, "And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what GOD wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."


Worship - yes


Work out - 1 hr....feels great


Do something for someone else - bought a birthday card and gift 



Do something for myself - laid out in the sun and spent a little more money then I should


Eat well - Ramen noodles..not sure if this means eating well...but yummy MSG


Emotional state: content


High point: listened to my brother describe my oldest nephews 5 minute prayers. "LORD, thank you for peanut butter and jelly. I love that. And God thank you for my scooter. I love my scooter." lol so precious


Low point: sunburned...yuck


Tip of the day:  trust your gut.